Luna, Corbie, Writing

Luna is on the mend. We’ll find out on Thursday if she’ll need stitches; the doctor wanted to see how she healed in the meantime, but this is one particularly problematic gland and she’s blown it out before (oh, our poor girl) and so I don’t know with scarification, how well it’s going to heal. She’s in great spirits — a bit jumpy about having people near her moving too fast (and by people I mean Corbie) but otherwise doing well for having a wound upon her tuchis. We think stitches will be a thing, and then also likely a cone of style, as one of her biggest fans calls it — and no, there will be no pictures.

Corbie is absolutely perfect. He’s even finally decided to eat popsicles again. Because he’s not a stupid dog, he waiting until I got a new box before he’d decide to take any, and then he took a huge chunk from Beth’s when she offered him a lick. (hehehehe). I wonder if he thought the other box poisoned him? On Friday I need to catch more of his pee and deliver it for testing, and we’ll find out more re: kidney disease or medication results, and bladder infection or stones.

And next week? Next week I’m hoping for zero animal issues requiring doctor visits.

To say that I reached this week being exhausted is an understatement. Yesterday was all about sleeping, and not depression sleeping but “I cannot function oh my god” sleep. I woke up after ten hours to go grocery shopping, and then came home and slept for another four. I feel mostly human again, which is good, because my brain went to all sorts of fun places while I was exhausted (more on that later) but the upside to this is being reminded that I need to be more selective, more discerning even, where I put my energy. I love writing, I love writing on this blog — but there’s a very particular sort of writing I want to be doing on this blog . . . and the 30 Days of Devotion is not it. Certainly not at that pace. I don’t know if I’ll pick it back up or not, but wanting there to be one that centers on Poseidon is not enough of a reason, and I should have known that out of the gate when I didn’t care about the answers. “How was He X in antiquity?” Blah, boring. If you want to know (and I’ve wanted to know!) go and research. The topic isn’t boring for me to read, but it’s so boring for me to write about because it’s the now that interests me, and it’s the now that I want to talk about and read about.

I’m not saying studying the past cultus is a waste of time. I’m not saying that studying the cultures that worshiped Poseidon is a waste of time — but my devotion to Him is not, has not ever been, and will not be, rooted in that place and time. My devotion to Him is rooted in Poseidon. My devotion to Him is rooted wherever He decides its rooted, and when I allow myself to tangle myself up in these other things . . . it never goes well. Suddenly I’m entertaining doubts that I laid to rest over a decade ago. Which I’m going to write more about because Keeping It Real is a big deal to me, and I don’t pretend I have my shit together.

I may use some of the topics as fodder in the future, but for now, I’m setting it aside. I’ve got these couple of novels to finish, and more heartfelt things to write about.

More updates

Corbie’s continuing to mend. He’s up to a lot of his antics. For example, for the duration of this illness, he’s been sleeping on the outside of the bed, so that if he had to get up for whatever, he could do so easily. Typically his side of he bed is the inside, and part of our going to bed routine is for me to get into bed, for him to walk around the outside of me, and for me to remind him, “Other side.” He’ll then trot around me and settle into his spot. (I’m restless with my feet during the night and need access to the edge of the bed to stick them out and tuck them in as needed. The way our bedroom is set up, part of my ‘outside’ side is blocked by Beth’s bed, and part of the foot of the bed is blocked by the horde of spinning wheels.) I’ve been on the “other side” since Sunday, and so when I went to bed last night I just tucked myself against the wall like I’ve been doing.

Corbie was curled up in the center of the bed, and Neech came to sleep with us, so it was the three of us right in a row across the pillows, but apparently Neech was pestering Corbie with his kneading. Corbie wriggled out from the covers, trotted around me, and started wiggling to get between me and the wall, as if to say, “Ma, other side!”

I was hysterical.

I’m getting him a fresh bag of kibble today, and if he eats dinner with no problem he’s going back on his blood pressure and diuretic meds tomorrow.

Oh, right! The urinalysis! He’s got to have another one done in about two weeks. His urine came back dilute, which the doc says might be signs of early kidney disease or might be a result of his medication. She also found blood and white blood cells in his urine, which could mean a bladder infection that the antibiotics cleared up (there was no bacteria) or it could mean that there’s a bladder stone. We’re really hoping for no kidney disease, obviously, but at the same time we’re sort of expecting it now, and also, early detection for the win.

And Lu’s got one of her anal glands acting up, and we didn’t catch it in time because we’d been so preoccupied with mister “No, no food, no water, I’ll just waste away,” so we’ll have the vet out again. She’s a delicate Lady, despite her tough attitude, so she’ll need an antibiotic shot. She’s in better spirits than she was yesterday. Trying not to to be too down on us about having not caught it, but she was fine and clean on Saturday, and yesterday was the first day that she was acting “off”. When we went to investigate she fought pretty hard — her teeth met inside my finger, and I’m sort of happy I’m fat because that’s the only reason they did not meet bone.

We’ve already called the vet, and are waiting to hear back. “Hi guys! It’s been DAYS since we saw you last. Like, TWO OF THEM. Please come back.”

She always piggybacks on Corbie’s issues. Always. After his back injury, like, the next month, she was all, “Hi, I have an infection you didn’t know about and I’m going to die if you don’t save me now. Surprise!”

Anyway, that’s where we’re at. Corbie’s eating and acting normal and getting underfoot again. Lu’s uncomfortable but she’ll be okay. Will get back to the 30 Days of Poseidon meme soon, possibly tomorrow even.

Thank you, everyone, for your well wishes for Corbie. We appreciate them so much. Now, if you could spare a little for Her Ladyship, we’d appreciate that as well.

An update on Corbie

For those of you who are not following this story on FaceBook (where I update his statue whenever he happens to do anything at all): things are improving.
image

Yesterday was a lot of sleeping (a lot of hard sleeping; there was twitching, I can’t wait until he starts snoring again) but also some milemarkers on our trip to wellness. We started going outside to pee again, and he looked a few times like he wanted to try going down the steps on his own. Our walk extended to the sidewalk along the front of our duplex. He still did not want to eat on his own, but if we shoved the baby food into his mouth, he ate it. He trembles after he’s had food, for about fifteen minutes after. Our vet suggested some Pepcid AC for him, so we’re going to try that.
image

By yesterday evening, he walked both up and down the steps on his own, and one walk even had a few paces of his normal bouncing gait. Very exciting. Of course the first time he tries to go down the steps on his own was once it was dark. Stubborn dog, gotta do it the way that’s going to worry me the most.

Our vet stopped by with more medicine for him (anti-diarrheal pill and an antibiotic to help with the nausea) and he received those with his nightly heart med. We’ve had to stop the blood pressure and the diuretic until he’s better, which is a bit worrisome, as his heart murmur is strong and loud and advanced. After he had the antibiotic, he willingly ate a whole can of chicken baby food. Licked the jar clean.

Which made his snubbing food again this morning pretty disheartening. Small steps, right? He ate a total of just under three jars of food yesterday, and some (cat) kibble, which was the first food he even willingly sought out on his own, so we did not dissuade him from it, and Neech egged him on, and a few bits of cream cheese. Improvements are happening, he is on the mend.

The bad news (or possible bad news) is, the only worrisome thing the blood work revealed was possible early stage kidney disease. Kidney and heart disease seem pretty typical concurrent illnesses, and from what I’ve since read, catching the kidney disease early makes a huge, huge difference. I have a feeling his already expensive medication is about to get even more expensive but right now I don’t care so long as he keeps eating.

We talk about “When do we say enough?” because we know his body is going to give out on him, because we know his heart failure is in the later stages, and medication is only going to help for so long. We’ve gotten a year and a half extra with him because of finding the heart failure early enough that medication could help (thank you for that, Angel) and we’re not “life at any cost” people. That said, for as long as we can throw medicine at it to improve his quality of life, we’re going to — even if it only buys us months.

We should have urine results today. Fingers crossed.

Worry aside: he barked at people outside the house today. First time since Saturday. Funny how things that used to annoy you can suddenly become awesomely amazing.

Fire on the Mountain by Jennifer Lawrence

Jolene Poseidonae:

What I don’t say in that review, and what I will say here is: if you like your fiction pagan as all get out, with gods showing up and taking an active (albeit still background role), you’ll want to read this book. Also refreshing is that the gods are not relegated to fey status. It’s a common trope these days, and I enjoy books where that happens, but I also love (and love more) seeing the gods get to be gods and not all just become a different way of saying “fey”.

Er. That might be a pet peeve. Anyway: support your pagan fiction authors! Buy their books!

Originally posted on The Saturated Page:

For those not in the know, currently my dog is coming back from some wicked intestinal wretchedness. He is weak, he is unwell, and he is basically on bed rest. He’s also amazing, and in order for me to keep him in bed I have to stay with him, because he thinks I’m amazing, and wants to be with me all the time. To that end, I’m staying in bed with him and reading. Sometimes out loud, to him, because he likes it.

One of the books we read was Jennifer Lawrence’s Fire on the Mountain. I’ve wanted this book since she released it, and I was hoping to get a Kindle edition at some point because acquiring physical books in our limited space is something I try not to do if I can help it. I’m not going to criticize her for not having this out in e-reader…

View original 497 more words

Stepping back

So, the only reason posts have been happening is because they were scheduled to go up.

On Sunday our Corbie became very ill. Something really upset his stomach, and he was miserable. He wasn’t able to even drink anything for nearly 12 hours and it’s just been bad.

His vet has been out and we’re waiting on blood work. He’s been given antibiotics and fluids. He’s drinking willingly in his own but we’re still having to shove baby food onto his tongue to get him to eat.

He’ll only stay in bed if I do as well. So writing isn’t happening until he’s well again.

If you can spare some good love for Corb, please do so.

image

image

image

He’s improving. Diarrhea is still an issue and getting him to eat. He’s keeping what he eats down, but he’s just so disinterested in food. :(

30 Days of Poseidon

XVII.How does this deity relate to other gods and other pantheons?

I’m not 100% sure which way this question is meant. Are we talking, how does Poseidon get on with other gods and other pantheons, or are we talking, what other gods fill similar roles as Poseidon?

In the first instance: it depends on the Power in question. There have been a few cases of seeing Poseidon and Someone Else not get on well, but generally, despite His reputations in the myths, Poseidon is pretty easy going. The cases where I’ve run into Him not getting on with Someone, it is impossible for me to say how much of that is about the Power in question and how much is situational or circumstantial. In my experience, Poseidon and Dionysos have a tense relationship. Dionysos had a (small) role in my getting my relationship with Poseidon back on track, and my interaction with the God was positive – but also extremely unlike anything I expected. Since then, I am only allowed to honor Dionysos extremely formally, at very specific times, and never singularly. For example, He is one of the Powers I honor during the Vigil for the Bulls, along with a host of Others, but I am not allowed approach only Him. The feeling is not quite animosity, and I know of people who interact with Them Both just fine. I can’t hope to know exactly what’s up, and I’m not saying that They are enemies. But, it’s . . . tense and uneasy.

In the second instance, this is something of a sensitive topic for me at the moment (more on that later on). Gods that, in my head at least, belong to the same sort of ‘type’ tribe as Poseidon include: Manannan, Neptune, Ogun, Enki, Aegir, Njord, Varuna, Yam, apparently Vishnu, to an extent Veles. . . meh. I’m not super comfortable with this topic. There are a number of Powers that have spheres of over lapping influence. I’m a hard enough of a polytheist that I don’t think these are different names for the same Power . . . but at the same time, some of them, the individuation gets . . . murky, if you’ll forgive that pun. I also don’t think the Powers are as attached to names as we are, and I think They’ll use whatever works in order to make communication possible, up to and including slipping on a familiar face when we have a hard time connecting. If I say things like, my Poseidon is the same as Neptune, does that mean that the being I connect with is always the very same being as Neptune as He connects with others? No, I’m not. I’m also not saying He’s not, but I am saying that I’m not dictating to Him how He is in the world and what name He must wear. That is, I’m not deciding for Him that He must do names and stories and faces the way we do them.

30 Days of Poseidon

XVI. How does Poseidon represent the values of His pantheon and His culture/s of origin?

Judgy Poseidon is judging you.

Judgy Poseidon is judging you.

Confession: I’m a polytheist, and I’m a devotee of Poseidon, but for all of that, I am not a Hellenic polytheist. I find the history of the various cultures in the Mediterranean fascinating, and I do like to learn about them, because I do like to be able to put Poseidon’s historical cult into context when I can. (That, and I simply find history interesting. People are fascinating). Now, maybe it’s because of my history with Poseidon, and how o/Our relationship formed; maybe it’s because during the formative years I stubbornly ignored all the Hellenic stuff; maybe it’s because I grew up in an alcoholic home and do not have an attachment to place; maybe it’s because I’m essentially a loner, definitely an introvert, and do not see family as the be all end all, or at least, I do not understand attachments for the sake of tradition’s sake if there’s nothing else there to keep it together. Maybe it’s because I’m really not a speciesist, and it shows even in this. I don’t know. Whatever the reason, the end result is: the cultures that worshiped Poseidon in history are not my culture, and I don’t feel particularly connected to them.

I believe the gods are real, distinct Powers who are not trapped in the past. I believe that the gods can feel an affection, even a possessiveness, for particular groups of people and cultures, but I also believe They are sophisticated, complex beings Who understand that cultures change over time. I don’t have a great love for our American consumerism culture, mind you, but I also don’t hold any of the various cultures from the Mediterranean world as being some spiritual-cultural center for me, either. I also do not believe that the Gods ‘belong’ to any one culture. Saying ‘Poseidon is a Greek/Hellenic God’ and understanding as anything more than shorthand for saying that Poseidon was primarily worshiped in particular cultures is, to my way of thinking, wrong. Poseidon is not Greek. Poseidon is a God. He’s a cosmic Power. I do believe the Gods do have what passes for Their own cultures and values, but to take cultural values of a particular time and place those values upon our Gods can be a dangerous thing, and it’s something I strongly hesitate to do.

Does Poseidon represent the values of His particular Family? Eh, maybe? I don’t know that They’re a Family the way we understand family, and I think we run the risk of making Them too human when we think about Them this way. Yes, I talk a lot about Poseidon’s Family — I talk about Apollon being His favorite Nephew, for example — but I do so knowing that my words are falling short. I do so knowing ‘family’ is just another way we tell stories about our lives (what is ‘family’ but a story being told about patterns and connections we’ve agreed exist?). In the story of Poseidon’s Family, Zeus is the patriarch, and all fall in line with Him. It’s a story I can tap into, but my reality with Poseidon tells me that that story is a tad bit off. Does Poseidon share values with those in His Family? I believe that’s part of what draws Them together — but I’m not going to name them. I’m not going to decide what those are, beyond what He tells me they are, and I’m not going to decide for others what those values need to be for them.

I’ll own that this may be due to my coming from a secular society that heavily influenced by monotheism, largely Protestantism, that I do not come from families with strong connections to the Old World. I realize that there are nuances that I’ll never understand personally because Poseidon was no worshiped by any of the cultures that I could claim connection to, I went far enough back, and because even if I could, that is not my experience and it does not inform my interactions with Him. I live where I do as a result from a hostile take-over, and I’m one of those people who can only name my ancestors back three generations at most. My life is not rooted in the past the way some people’s lives are. That colors how I’m able to think of things.

Even with that caveat, I don’t view the Gods as ‘belonging’ to specific cultures. Doing so dances too close to comfort to the idea that ‘only certain people’ can worship particular Gods, and I am not going to tell Poseidon, after all this time, that I cannot be His because my ethnicity is ‘wrong’.

Bottom line here is: I care far more about what Poseidon has to say about cultural values of today, than I care about how He reflected values of ages long ago

30 Days of Poseidon

XV. Mundane practices that I associate with Poseidon

In Drew Campbell’s book Old Stones, New Temples*, the author suggested activities that might help one connect to the gods. With Poseidon, there is not anything that springs to mind that is obvious in the way that “go to the theater” is obvious when wanting to connect with Dionysos in a mundane way, though Campbell does suggest things like going horse back riding or visiting the ocean.

Honestly, the separation of “mystical/spiritual/religious” and “mundane” is a false dichotomy that I don’t encourage. Here is where my daily life is inspired by various monastic types who seek to bring their god into all their mundane tasks and interests. Am I perfect about doing this? Of course not; at what point have I ever said I’m successful in these things I strive to do? Nonetheless, I do the best I can to bring Poseidon into all the things I do. Maybe it’s a tad easy for me, given the interests that I have that could be seen as mundane, though, as you’ll see, it’s more about my mindset and less about the activities being “Oh, obviously Poseidon.”

Knitting is a favored pass-time, and depending on the project, knitting can be extremely meditative – hence, a great time to connect with Poseidon outside of ritual and just experience either being with Him or holding Him in my mind.

Writing, specifically writing fiction, has been my ‘natural’ way of keeping myself open to the worlds around me. There is a definite corrolation between those times when I have a harder time connecting with Him or Odin or the various other spirits I’m involved with and the times I’m not working, in some way, on a story project. I’m not one of those writers who interacts with any particular being or power as a muse; in how I explain how stories come to me, I say that the characters bring them to me. And that’s been somewhat annoying in my trying to figure out how to involve Poseidon in this act. Writing is one of my prime devotional activities – and it counts as a devotional activity for me even when I’m not writing about Poseidon, because it honors this connection with the otherworlds in a way that goes beyond words. But, because I’m pedantic, this bothered me for a long, long while. How can I call it devotional act if it’s not directly about Poseidon?

As I was getting ready for last year’s NaNoWriMo, Poseidon dropped a story idea on me, complete with title. The story was about Him, and I love it (and no, it’s not ready for public consumption yet, though you can read an excerpt here) and someday it will be released. The important thing He taught me during NaNo though was: to bring Him more directly into my writing activities, my writing did not need to be about Him. I had to include Him in the process. Not so that other people could see, but in my own process. He has become the main audience member in my story idea bouncing process. He listens while I talk plot issues out. He’s my sounding board.

These are the two most regular activities that I do that could be considered mundane**, and Poseidon is totally there, but you’ll notice that these are not “things I do that are mundane to fit into a specific Poseidon-theme”; rather, these are activities that matter to me that I bring to Poseidon, that I invite Poseidon to be a part of. This goes back to my giving Him my life. While there are some things that I have cut out of my life as part of being His (primarily, mindless activities. That is, whenever I do something I strive for it to be mindful, even if I’m mindfully doing something escapist) I find that it’s equally important to bring Him into the things that matter to me that maybe don’t seem like ‘Poseidon’ activities. To my way of thinking, part of bringing our gods into our world is bringing Them to the things that matter to us, even the ‘mundane’ things.

*way expensive book that’s out of print. There are other, better books that you can find on Hellenic paganism/polytheism/reconstructionism.

** I’m pretty boring, I suppose. I enjoy knitting and writing and studying and snuggling with my critters. Don’t judge.

Worshiping Loki pre-order update

Originally posted on The Road, the Walker, and What Comes Next :

IMG_20150716_200253

Just a reminder: the pre-order period for the hand bound copies of the forthcoming Worshiping Loki: A Short Introduction closes at the end of the month! There are still a few copies left but I’m not expecting them to be around for long. If you’re interested in owning a copy of your own, I’d suggest getting on this month rather then waiting till August when the price will rise a bit.

I’ve purchased the first batch of supplies. Above you can see a fresh roll of premium Japanese bookcloth; it has a lovely silk moire-like texture and a rich berry color. The glue I use has a neutral pH, which helps preserve the quality of paper in the long term. It’s a little more expensive than standard paper glue but for a project like this, archival glue is the right tool.
IMG_20150716_202956

Here you can see the first stack of…

View original 239 more words

Kickstarter for Poseidon book illustrations is a go

Jolene Poseidonae:

So, Terence wrote a thing, and he’s looking to have said thing illustrated, and to do that, he’s looking to raise some funds. I cannot tell you how much I’m looking forward to having this book — nor can I tell you how glad I am someone has finally written a Poseidon devotional and I can take that pressure (Jo, you SHOULD BE doing this) off of myself (Jo, you don’t really want to write a book like that, no matter how much you think you ought to). But, this isn’t about me.

This is about Terence, and his thing he wrote, and this is about Poseidon and His awesomeness, and this is about you, and your ability to either signal boost this, contribute to the fundraising, or both. Terence rocks, Poseidon rocks (heh), and you rock, too!

Originally posted on True Pagan Warrior:

I’m excited to announce the launch of my first-ever Kickstarter, to make it possible to fully illustrate my first-ever book, the Poseidon devotional Depth of Praise.

This Grace Palmer painting of Poseidon will grace the cover of the book. This Grace Palmer painting of Poseidon will grace the cover of the book.

View original