I miss you. I know I begged you to take me deeper into your mysteries. I can’t, and won’t, fault you for doing as I asked. I’m not sorry at the things I’ve discovered, about you, about myself, about us. I know that my missing you is as much my own doing as yours — … Continue reading A Love Letter
Back in 2008, I broke one of the first oaths I made to Poseidon. The specifics are not important. In 2007, my beloved Angel died. There were other things going on, and I did not react well. I seized upon a loophole and held fast. Poseidon has pressed for continually growing awareness with me. He's … Continue reading Sitting with heavy
and I don't want to. I don't want to talk about how my anxiety has gotten so bad, and my depression has also gotten worse, that all my mental wherewithal goes into staying detached from what my mind tries to tell me about myself (worthless, pointless, hopeless, pathetic). I don't want to talk about how … Continue reading Today I’m going to talk to my doctor about needing help
One of the tools I'm using to help me deal with anxiety, is walking. Specifically walking to the river once a week, but walking in general. Walking in general is a much loved way of getting my body moving and my mind distracted and my breathing meditative. When I was a little girl, I would … Continue reading Take A Walk With Me 2
There's continuing -- I hesitate to use the word 'pressure' here, because that implies a press of urgency/impatience that is not present--encouragement? awareness-brought-to-the-fact? requests? reminders? I'll go with reminders, that Durga does, in fact, want a tea cup. More, while She witnesses the right and proper sharing of tea between Poseidon and me, She wants … Continue reading Durga is kind . . . . and requests tea.
If you don't read my blog regularly, you may not know this, but I don't generally like the sort of "do this, don't do that," advice. At least, I don't like to give that sort of advice. I prefer the 'hey, here's some things I've done, here's been my experience, here's how I came into … Continue reading On the topic of finding a patron
I'll be frank: it has been a long, long, loooooong time since I questioned why Poseidon was interested in me. I didn't really question it much when w/We first met. I did question it after I gave Him wedding vows. People outside of myself (who were also pagan and/or polytheist) didn't question it so much to my … Continue reading How do I know if ______ deity is interested in me?
I hesitated on sharing this, because my first thought was, "Why would He care about whether or not I brought an umbrella? Surely this back-and-forth could just as easily have been a conversation between me and myself. How silly, to attribute part of it to a god." Except, I share my life with Him, and He … Continue reading When Poseidon says bring an umbrella . . .
I've made more progress in reading through the DP manual -- I should have the finished tonight/tomorrow, and I'll move on to supplemental material. I want to make it perfectly clear: I am already finding much of value in the material, and I'm not knocking anyone's approach. I've interacted with people in the ADF before … Continue reading Inclusion, citation, love-affairs with mythic past; more ADF-inspired musing
This morning, I'm actually quite displeased with myself, enough so that I believe this will be the last time that I fail to take the time off from work. I realized last year, finally, that I also really prefer to not work on my birthday, and I've already got that date jotted down on our work … Continue reading Happy Anniversary to me and w/We!