Confession: I suck at multi-day holidays. The plan was simple, because I know myself pretty well, and over planning is the fastest way to get me overwhelmed. Not planning at all, especially with what feels like new endeavors, is just as bad: the end result is I don’t do the thing. A plan, then, must … Continue reading Navratri: Keeping It Real
Well, about me and my ego and my attachment to being 'Poseidon's', and the fun with Names, and pigeon-holing Powers, and, you know. Stuff. No big.
and I don't want to. I don't want to talk about how my anxiety has gotten so bad, and my depression has also gotten worse, that all my mental wherewithal goes into staying detached from what my mind tries to tell me about myself (worthless, pointless, hopeless, pathetic). I don't want to talk about how … Continue reading Today I’m going to talk to my doctor about needing help
Let's just file this under Keeping It Real, shall we? It's been building for a while. I haven't written any substantial fiction since the wee beginning of January - I'd wanted to have WWC totally done (and it's dancing at close to done as I write) long before now. I'd wanted to have moved on … Continue reading I’m not okay right now.
I hesitated on sharing this, because my first thought was, "Why would He care about whether or not I brought an umbrella? Surely this back-and-forth could just as easily have been a conversation between me and myself. How silly, to attribute part of it to a god." Except, I share my life with Him, and He … Continue reading When Poseidon says bring an umbrella . . .
We're in the process of re-arranging the living room in our house, to utilize the space better. It's going to take time, and work, but the space that They on at the moment is very much temporary. I'm not even sure that the surface area will be the same (though it might be, and if … Continue reading Expectations, Disappointments, Detachment — a follow up.
Those of you who know me already know that, while I write of the value of detachment when it comes to emotional responses to things, and the value therein, I struggle a lot with finding the balance between expectations and disappointment. For the majority of my life, I've dealt with this by simply not looking … Continue reading Expectation, Disappointment, Detachment — Keeping It Real
It's almost as if admitting to fighting apathy right now made it stronger. Maybe it just meant I didn't have to pretend as much right now. For all that I want to Keep It Real, I also try to make my writing positive, or uplifting, or cheerleady. I'm trying really, really hard to be the … Continue reading People That Make My World Better
We're a week into August, and oh boy, July was quite a month. If only the Vigil for the Bulls had happened, it would have been quite a month, but the Vigil was not the only thing that happened. July was a month of one thing after another, and I leave the month being profoundly … Continue reading The Fine Art of Overwhelming Ones Self, Despite Knowing Ones Self
In the last few number of months some really cool things have happened. It's interesting to remind myself that, since I've been in "Are you SURE you can keep working, do you need a medical LOA?" sorts of pain during the last five months, that cool things have also happened. (Though, a sad amount of … Continue reading Challenging my own shit, or, “Isn’t one enough?”