Holding things in, Letting them out.

shameless plug: Patreon supporters gain access to my blog posts before the rest of the world does. There’s some other perks you might want to check out, too.   I have a habit of holding things inside. You might not guess that, based on how transparent I strive to be with what I share here….

So . . . things are happening.

I’ve been quiet and withdrawn for a few months now. In part, I’ve been adjusting to life with medication that helps keep everything from being super overwhelming. In part, I’ve been working over time at the day job and have had precious little time to spare for being around on line. In part, I’m dealing with…

Today I’m going to talk to my doctor about needing help

and I don’t want to. I don’t want to talk about how my anxiety has gotten so bad, and my depression has also gotten worse, that all my mental wherewithal goes into staying detached from what my mind tries to tell me about myself (worthless, pointless, hopeless, pathetic). I don’t want to talk about how…

I’m not okay right now.

Let’s just file this under Keeping It Real, shall we? It’s been building for a while. I haven’t written any substantial fiction since the wee beginning of January – I’d wanted to have WWC totally done (and it’s dancing at close to done as I write) long before now. I’d wanted to have moved on…

I am held.

So, I’m not all that good right now. It’s a number of things (retailhell season, anniversary of my grandmother’s death which generally make me think of them both as they were good enough to die in the same year and also because, hey, we buried her on my grandfather’s birthday–HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIPPY, LOOK WHAT WE…

People That Make My World Better

It’s almost as if admitting to fighting apathy right now made it stronger. Maybe it just meant I didn’t have to pretend as much right now. For all that I want to Keep It Real, I also try to make my writing positive, or uplifting, or cheerleady. I’m trying really, really hard to be the…

Clawing Back to Good

As mentioned previously, I’ve been overwhelmed a lot recently. It’s not a matter of too many bids for my time; the choices I’ve made in how I live my life on a day to day basis, coupled with the litany Odin frequently has me chant regarding the Hierarchy of Obligation that I owe to o/Others…

Oh, the humanity; or Compassion and Poseidon (The Pagan Experience week 5)

WK 1- Feb. 2- Humanity- How do you define “humanity”? What is your contribution to the collective space of humanity? How does your spiritual path support this definition and contributions?Note:  we will be exploring some of what you all share as your practices more deeply in the months ahead, so don’t hold back in giving…

Two years.

Today is my grandfather’s birthday (he would have been 98). Two years ago this past July we buried him. Today is also the two year mark of  my grandmother’s funeral. That means that yes, 2012 was a lovely, wonderful year for my family, and why bury one grandparent when you can bury two in one…

Been a bit quiet in here this week . . .

I know I said I’d be talking up the next story installment project — and I will be. I’m waiting until I have the wherewithal to sit and use two or more syllable words to address it. I’m both excited and nervous about the upcoming project, but it’s good, it’s good. I feel a bit…