Why did I never look at it this way, before?

I have crud.

Because my immune system is way better than I have any right to expect it to be, the crud is passing rather quickly (and has thus far bypassed my sinuses entirely, hooray!!). It came on fast, and I think I’ll be back to normal in a few days.  I was dog-tired on Wednesday, and didn’t want to leave the house, and the sore throat made its presence felt by early afternoon. I dozed on and off for two days — I’m pretty good about staying put when I’m not well, especially now that my “should-be-doings” is less active.

I didn’t approach Her shrine, once I was feeling unwell. I thought about it — I’ll still do my morning devotions for Poseidon; neither He nor Odin tolerate any real excuses for distance-making, and certainly not anything like germs.

I thought about it, and ever so gently, ever so firmly, nudged away. “No. Now is not the time for visiting. Go, rest.”

Whenever the subject of ritual purity, of miasma, comes up, I always, always, always balk. And it’s not that I think I know everything, but I forget, I guess, that I only know a few things really well. I only know how Poseidon is with me, and how Odin is with me, and not some much how Others are with me, or how Anyone is with anyone else. Death? Illness? Any other reason for ritual impurity (menstruation in some traditions, but not in all)? These things do not, have not ever kept me from Poseidon, from His shrine — He will not tolerate it. But, I feel like crap, and I haven’t been this sick in a long time, and Her rebuff-that-wasn’t-really was so gentle, so patient, so laced with, “why push yourself in this manner. I am here, and you are here, and it may wait.”

I have truly never experienced so many corrections completely void of value-judgment. It’s awesome, in the true sense of the word.


3 thoughts on “Why did I never look at it this way, before?

  1. In Urglaawe, there’s a feast for the goddess Berchta observed on New Year’s Eve called Bercthaslaaf. It mandates a ritual meal of herring and gruel or oatmeal, and actually traditionally, if you eat anything else on the day, it’s bad luck for a year, although you can make offerings to Berchta to be forgiven for eating other foods. This New Year’s I was horribly, desperately sick, part of a several weeks long respiratory infection of some kind. It was all I could do to get a little dish of uncooked oats, stand at my altar, and say a prayer offering it, and just doing that made my knees start to buckle because my body was so weak. I beat myself up afterwards about my crappy observance, mentally planning a later “redo” and feeling guilty. But She was completely gracious, and let me know that my observance did count. It was sincere and it was all I could do at that time. I may have felt like it wasn’t enough, but She accepted it in the spirit it was given. Sometimes, all you can give is all you can give, even if you feel like you should be capable of more.

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