*vague feeling of encouragement to share the process*
*ignores said feeling of encouragement. Lights incense*
*less-vague feeling of needing to go and write about the process*
*long-suffering sigh from the general location of the Poseidon shrine.*
*intense impression of “Oh, for the love of — would you go write the thing???”*
*writes the thing*
Today marks day three of taking the medicine to help deal with this. I don’t know that it’s helping yet, but I do know that I’m getting slight drowsiness from it, and thus it’s helping at least in making me too tired to ride the anxiety high, so at least there’s that? If the drowsiness doesn’t abate, I’ll switch to taking it with dinner instead. I’m also slipping into the super-tired-need-all-the-sleep part of my cycle, so that always helps with the anxiety too.
Have a few more places to check to see if they’re in network for me, and if not, I’ll be looking at other options. Again, getting to talk to someone about things may not be strictly necessary, but it’s also an approach I haven’t tried yet, and so, may as well.
I’m losing my willingness to work all the hours. Yesterday I was scheduled for a 10, and manager left a note that I was welcome to stay longer to help finish tasks. I declined. I will continue to decline. I’m *tired*. Also, except for the one week of intense hours, none of this ends up being over time, because our hours get cut the following week to compensate, and so we never hit over 80 for the pay cycle. I know she appreciates the help, but the company sure as hell doesn’t, so, yeah, no. I’m good.
Am still super behind on correspondences. That’ll not change for a bit.
So: I’m tired. I’m not yet thinking straight, but I’m also not having all the thoughts all at the same time, and so that’s good. I think I’m in a more depression, less anxiety spot, and that’s an improvement for me, because I’m more than okay with just sleeping instead of thinking everything. An upside: I’m opening all week, and I really figured this time change would mess with me, but a benefit to being tired all the time is being able to just go to sleep whenever. No skipped hour for me. :0)
And that’s the thing. I wrote it. More tea now please.