Thus far, I’ve been approaching Them, and the worship of Them, with an understanding that the shrine space is a space outside of this space. It’s mutually agreed upon not-quite-home for e/Everyone involved, so I guess a sort of guest room for Them that isn’t *my* space, either. It’s so different from what I have with Poseidon, where His shrine is o/Our shrine (and the shrine has its own spirit, too, sort of like a house-wight, only a shrine-wight) and is deeply connected to the house, which is, in a way, an extension of the shrine, in that it is as much a place for Him as the shrine is.
The offerings have still been primarily incense. I want to move on to offering Them drinks, but I need to figure out cups — which really just means I need to take a trip to the thrift store and see about tea cups. I thought, at first, doll tea cups, but meh. Smaller tea cups will work just as well. Do They each get Their own, or do They share? Haven’t felt that out yet. The space is small, I may start with one. Incense has been offered first to Poseidon. Two sticks, for Him, and then the second stick for Them. This has been acceptable, but Durga is helping me realize that that amount of grace will be used up, soon. It was an important step: historically when becoming involved with Others, Poseidon will assert His place in the heirarchy, and wow was it fun when He and Pops were hashing it out. I’ll get a new holder and it’ll be okay.
The Others have stepped back a bit, and it’s a very non-judgy, very kind, very sweet “not time to visit right now,” experience. Durga is present. Durga is inviting. Durga has me approach the shrine in pajamas, with my hair still mussed, with my hands and face scrubbed but otherwise fresh from sleep. She is a wise, generous, glorious aunt Who knows that I suffer, right now, and knows, somehow, that Her attention and presence will help. Her corrections, when they come — “No, that was too rushed, too by rote. Breathe. Kneel here. Offer that again.” — are without censure. I feel as a toddler, taking shaky, uncertain steps, and She in an endlessly patient Mother. I know She’s more than that, but right now, that’s how She is with me, and I’m so thankful. So thankful.
So, this week’s goal is to get something for libations and something for the incense so She can have Her own. And that’ll be a win.
I’m improving. I’m not 100%, but the anxiety is not as vocal currently, and this is good. Thank you, everyone. So many people reached out and I can’t tell you what that means to me. You are all very awesome. 🙂