I hesitated on sharing this, because my first thought was, “Why would He care about whether or not I brought an umbrella? Surely this back-and-forth could just as easily have been a conversation between me and myself. How silly, to attribute part of it to a god.”
Except, I share my life with Him, and He weighs in on various seemingly trivial bits of my life, and yeah, sure this particular bit could very easily conversations between me and myself, a part of myself, of my reason and logic and inner thinking that I may have trained myself, over the years, to view as Poseidon. When it comes to these small interactions, I admit that it could just as well be me as it could be Him — but it makes me happier to believe it’s Him. It makes me happier to live in a world where this sort of interaction is possible, and at the end of the day, I do believe that the gods and spirits are not only capable of such intimate interactions with us, but that some of They may seek such intimate interactions out.
I also believe that it is possible to become used to this to the degree that the following can happen.
My mood has not been the greatest of late. I feel rushed and stressed, and I’m working on that. Yesterday was the first day of my work week, and I tend to have a really hard time with stress while getting ready to leave, so I may have been lashing out a bit. (Sorry, Beth!) As I was leaving, the sky was clouding over, and I made it down my front steps before an urge came over me to go back and get an umbrella. I fought this urge, and it persisted. I was already laden with packages to mail for Wytch of the North and I did not want one more thing to carry.
The urge pressed harder upon me, so I turned around and found my umbrella. I snarled at Beth, “I can’t even fucking decide whether I want to bring an umbrella or not on my own!” and stormed back out of the house.
I didn’t make it halfway to my bus stop before the sky opened up and rain poured down.
Let me make something clear here: there is little I hate more than being stuck in wet clothing. The rain was cold, and it was serious about raining for a bit, and I was immediately grateful that I had the umbrella.
As I waited for the bus, horror slowly crept over me. Now, Poseidon is a good sport when it comes to my moods — it’s almost like He knows something about sharp mood swings, and harsh tempers. He weathers the swells in my moods fairly well. There are reasons I say that He is generous. He is unfailingly generous with His tolerance of my irreverence. But as :I waited for that bus, I caught a sense of attention from Him as He waited for me to realize what I’d done, for me to realize what had happened.
Leaving aside the fact that my venting my anger on Him is acceptable to Him, so long as it’s either over something valid or is me at a breaking point when I have little control over my temper — lately, it’s been a struggle, but yesterday I didn’t take one minute to sit and breathe and even attempt to rein it in. I was just snarly and I embraced that. So that’s not okay, and He called me on that shit. But leaving that aside?
Poseidon told me to take an umbrella with me. It’s almost like He had insight into how the rain storm might behave, and was offering guidance. *facepalm* The only acceptable response to Poseidon saying to bring an umbrella is to take the flipping umbrella. And maybe a “thank you,” could be nice, too.