As Beth wrote about here, the earlier holy days of the dark of the year have slipped by largely unobserved in any sort of outwardly-represented way. In my religious calendar (which looks slightly different than Beth’s, despite our living together and worshiping many of the same Powers), leans heavily in Poseidon’s direction, but my last ‘big day’ for Him is in August, until the rains return, when I hold a little something (generally libations, dancing around like a loon, and tears of elation) for Poseidon and for all the Rain Makers.
Poseidon is tied to the Winter Solstice — His festivals around this time were many in antiquity, enough so that I really have zero problem with the way our household Poseidea has sort of attached itself to part of Yuletide (yet more examples of how Odin and Poseidon are the same god?*)
I don’t have a situation where my god in absent from my life — the dying and coming back, or the leaving for a while, is not something that I experience with Poseidon. I do, and have always, experienced cycles — tides, if you’ll forgive the pun — in how He communicates, or maybe in how I can receive said communication. Once, early on, it was acutely painful when the mode switched and He felt gone. It can easily feel like distance, and maybe it even is a distance of a sort, but I understand it less as a spatial distance or a geographical distance and more a distance/difference of kinds. There are times o/Our communication is almost like talking telepathically, but more often it’s emotional exchanges and a press of nearness. Oddly, it’s when He is the most human-seeming, when the exchange is like telepathic talking, that I feel that distance/difference — or rather, it’s perfectly fine, until I’m feeling *more* from Him, and then in retrospect that telepathic talking feels wretched.
It’s been a long time since it’s bothered me or even caught me off-guard. Samhain slipped past without me feeling compelled to do more than get through the day, and then November hit. Just like that, winter was here, gentle and caressing, but here without a doubt. It was wet and it was chilly and it was dark, and it was time for NaNoWriMo, and I felt Him, here. Pressing in and pressing down and not human, and with a briny undertaste/underfeel of water wight. Maybe it’s because I have kelpies on the brain. Maybe it’s because it’s NaNo, and while this year’s NaNo is not about Him or even for Him, I do have a tradition now of writing NaNo with Poseidon as my muse and go-to story bouncee. Maybe it’s because He’s so firmly entrenched in my understanding of Pop’s Hunt.
Maybe it’s because winter is my favorite season, and I feel like I can breathe again with the rains and the dark. Whatever it is, I feel as if He has returned, though I know He is always with me, always reachable, that our connection is firm and established and unbreakable. I feel as if I’ve been missing Him for aeons, though I did not miss Him because I felt no lack.
NaNo is going well. Not writing today, and will slip behind a bit in my work counts. Less than 2k behind though. I have Monday and Tuesday off, and will have a marathon day, maybe.
*said tongue in cheek. I don’t believe they are, as much as I know both Odin and Poseidon play loosey goosey with names. Once, a(n in?)famous heathen suggested that Odin might be a stepped-down version of Poseidon, largely, I suspect, in order to keep taking my monies. Alas, that did not work.