Wk 3- Feb. 16- Deity and the Divine– This will be the third week’s topic every month and an opportunity for you to share with everyone those who guide, inspire and inform you.
I talk about Poseidon a lot. This blog was created originally in part to provide a real-time glimpse into what life might look like, devoted to and lived alongside Poseidon. I wanted to write a devotional book, but I either wanted to write fiction for Him or I’d become to bogged down with trying to write all the things about Him, ever. Which is so interesting to me to read, and so boring for me to write. Early on it became clear that I could not write about living my life with Poseidon without writing about living my life, and so, I do that a fair amount, too. Long time readers will know that I try to keep it real, and they’ll probably know that at times, I fail at that.
I talk about Odin, too, but not as much. Part of this, in my heart, in my interior landscape, I am so thoroughly Poseidon’s. It’s funny in that quirky way, because I’ve harped on and on about how, in my interior landscape, the cosmology that Odin brings with Him is the one that feels most “natural” to me. I know where I stand with Pops, and I’m comfortable with Him (or, as comfortable with Him as one can be, and how comfortable that is depends largely on what particular mask He’s wearing at the time.) I know the services I perform for Him, and I know the pretty much what He’ll ask of me. I know that, should there be a need, He will once again tear my life asunder and rebuild me, and since I like the life I have, I strive to make sure there is not a need.
But, in part it’s also because, at a glance, I don’t feel as though I’m somehow who people would think, “Yeah, I can see her as one of Odin’s adopted daughters.” Which is stupid, because why should they care, and why would I care whether they care or not?
Odin came into my life shortly before my mortal father died. I was already pagan. Poseidon was already in the picture. I was still exploring the different sorts of paganisms out there. Odin didn’t come blustering in — in fact, it was Thor and Hela who were introduced first. One of the last conversations I had with my father (we did not have a good relationship, and certainly not the sort where we discussed religion or spirituality) was a confusing, muddled, not the least bit lucid conversation wherein he was telling me of adventures he’d had with Loki and Odin and Thor. There was something about a huge rainbow across the sky. Thor is the name that stuck with me. (Thor quickly became Uncle Thor, and there’s this connection with my father that He has that I can’t be expected to explain in any concrete way, but that has tucked my family neatly beneath His hands, which is not a bad place to be.)
Odin stuck to the background for some time, until one day I decided that I would do some ritual involving Him, and for warding the space I used the tools that I had — I used Reiki symbols. He piped up to inform me that I’d be learning the runes, thank you very much, starting right then, that the sigils I’d used were perfectly fine (in fact, they initiated me into the mysteries of power symbols) but these would be better suited.
I’m not sure when I decided that I wanted to adopt Him/be adopted by Him, honestly. It was quick. The moving from Massachusetts, meeting Beth, swearing lifelong vows to Odin, marrying Poseidon, moving in with Beth took a few years, but in my head, in my memory, it’s very rapid. I knew, for example, during our first email exchange, that Beth and I would end up living together. I still can’t tell you what Odin sees in me —
— er, except I can. I can tell you that He shook the cobwebs from my life. He stoked the fire within me, to heed this calling, to opt for the odd life that sang to my heart, whose fire burned through my blood. I can tell you that, when it came to that moment, when I could have changed my mind and stayed as I was, trying to have it all, it was Odin, not Poseidon, who said, “No. You’ll honor what your soul is calling you toward or I will destroy everything you hold dear. Set your lines and stand by them, no matter the cost, no matter the pain, or I will turn it all to ash and that future that you do not really want will be outside of the realm of possibility anyway.”
I love Odin. I trust Odin, which is something I’ve heard other people involved with Odin try to dissuade. I don’t understand it. I know, maybe not exactly Who He is, because He is huge. So far, though, there is nothing He’s demanded of me or from me that He wouldn’t demand from Him self. I am mindful, always, of sacrificing self for Self. It’s good enough for Him, why not me?
I often feel that I’m not Odinic enough. Maybe that’s part of living with Beth. She oozes Odin. She’s a woman obsessed, and I see Him in her constant going and doing and challenging herself and expanding and pushing and doing more moremoremoreMORE!!
Being Odin’s is as central to my life as being Poseidon’s is. I don’t talk about Him nearly as much, I don’t talk about being one of His daughters. Being adopted by Him healed a lot of crap within me, and we did a lot of shadow-work together to get me to where I am now. I love Him. I feel very much “on duty” as His during Yule, during the Hunt season, and more “off-duty, chillin’ around the house” as His during the rest of the year. Which isn’t bad, really, I suppose.
Odin reminds me that the gods are huge. That They are big, that They have Their own agendas. Odin put my concept of family to rights — He’s the one that makes me chant the order of importance as the where I put my energy, when I forget. He reminds me where my loyalty and allegiance goes. He is more likely to show me tough love than Poseidon is. Odin reminds me to be terrified when it’s proper. Odin reminds me that I have a Father who loves me unconditionally, and that He can kick my arse without any of that love dropping away. He is the one who allowed me to feel like a cherished daughter, and that’s something I never expected and am so very honored to have experienced. He is many things — my God, my King, truly, but He is also my Dad, and I love Him.