Looking Back at 2014, with runes!

I am lifting this Runic Reflection right out of Beth’s blog, because I totally can. You should, too.

1.Fehu and Uruz: How has abundance manifested in my life this year? Where is my strength?

I had plans for 2014, but it turns out 2014 had plans for me, too. The abundance I wanted, going in, was an abundance of writing. I even had plans about how that was going to happen. I did get a ton written — before NaNoWriMo my tally was at 100k, and then NaNo happened, and I’ve written a good 20k since, so, abundance in that area happened. More, though? More: my Story Subscription project was born. It was born out of necessity and desperation, true (how is comprehensive dental care, something that is necessary for physical health, not a part of basic health insurance?) but that does nothing to diminish the sheer awesomeness that has been the result. I’ve produced material that I otherwise may not have. Having a “real” deadline hanging over my head has forced me to get serious about my writing in ways that having personal deadlines never managed; writing has become a part time job for me; I have a growing fanbase. (An awesome and extremely supportive fanbase).

While we’re talking of abundance, I have to mention: my family. I can’t say we have an abundance of health, because we are a kroniklee ill household, but we’ve all made it to the end of the year, and for some of us, I wasn’t sure that was going to be the case. Our numbers have remained the same through 2014, and I’ll count that as a blessing of abundance.

My strengths? Finally getting my stubborn streak to align with my desire to get more stuff written. This has been the year when I’ve really noticed that getting knocked on my arse no longer means getting so overwhelmed by life that I curl up and stop doing everything for weeks or months. Days, at most, has been the amount of recovery time I’ve needed, and since the bulk of my writing takes place between two to three days, it really hasn’t been affected much.

2. Thurisaz and Ansuz: What obstacles stand in my way? What inspires me? 

I tend to be my biggest obstacle. Despite having achieved some of the goals I had for 2014, other goals have presented themselves. I’d wanted 2014 to be the year that I Wrote All The Things, and in a way, it has been, but the focus been on the story subscription — which is great — and I still want to find ways to get more written. I’m working on it. So, time also seems to be an obstacle, and I need to make it so that time becomes an ally, instead.

Right now, seeing how people achieve their goals despite life exploding around them is a huge, huge inspiration.

3. Raido and Kenaz: What journeys (either literal or spiritual) have I made this year? What have I crafted (in either a literal or figurative sense)?

Oh, my. This year I’ve: taken on Poseidon’s name in my own; have written a novel with Poseidon as the central character; have written a number of other stories/novellas; began the Story Subscription Project. These journeys have been transformative. Writing — yes, even fiction writing. In fact, I’d say especially fiction writing — is such a spiritual journey for me on its own, each project is its own journey, and in 2014 I undertook many.
4. Gebo and Wunjo: What gifts have I given and received? What has brought me joy?

This goes along with the abundance answer. My family, my gods, my writing.

5. Hagalaz and Nauthiz: What upheavals have I dealt with? What do I need?

Upheavals did happen. Most notably: we discovered that Corbie has congestive heart failure; Beth’s primary care doctor closed her business (and if you think that’s a silly upheaval you clearly don’t deal with chronic illnesses, and thank your lucky stars that is so) and we had to find a new doctor for her; have I mentioned surprise! dental surgery yet?; Corbie’s medical stuff (because learning its there wasn’t enough; there were ER trips, too!)

What do I need? I know what I want, but what do I need? To figure out how to take our financial situation from “just enough” to “hey, that’s a nice little cushion”. So far, we really, really suck at that, but we’re working on it.

6. Isa and Jera: Where do I need to slow down, show more caution? What have I harvested?

In this I’ve already realized I need to scale my internet browsing way, way back. I find myself trying to put the cart before the horse in this — I know that i’m going to focus on indie publishing, and I know I need to get awareness of my work out there, and I know that a huge part of  marketing is using social media platforms. My problem is: once I start following blogs or following people on FB, I tend to decide I have to stay abreast of everything all the time — I have to read all the posts, and I have to respond to all the posts. It’s one part Virgo perfectionism, yes, but it’s also, I want to put out there what I want to gain. I want people to read my stuff and comment. I want to interact with my readers, and I want to be a reader that interacts with the people whose writing I read. But I’m still trying to get All The Things Written, and it’s not like I have a whole lot to market about right now. The Story Subscription, yes, but right now, that’s all I’ve got out there to draw people’s attention to. I’m setting down the guilt that I have over not being able to be the perfect reader/follower, and I’m scaling back on my social media time, because there are all these stories I want to get written. Having found my writing schedule that works for me, I’m focusing this year on getting my work count up. Something has to give, and so, alas, it’s going to be social media. For the time being. Yes, I’m going to become that person who posts to publicize my writing and what I’m selling. I’m shifting that back to my other blog, but I’ll be reblogging here, also. That doesn’t mean I won’t be posting other stuff from time to time, but it does mean that a lot of my focus — most of my focus — is going to be going into my writing, and not so much my posting.

7. Eihwaz and Perthro: What initiations have I experienced? What time do I take for play? What preparations have I made for the coming year?

Without going into details: Poseidon, holy gods, Poseidon. Just . . . *mute hand waving* Writing that novel with Him was . . . why the hell hadn’t I done that yet? (And it so needs to be rewritten; that’s next after I get the trilogy I’m working on finished. We’ll see how realistic my deadlines are as we go) Preparations for the coming year: Scrivener and story/book planning. Being a Pantser is not going to get me the most out of my time,  so I’m turning myself into a Plotter.

I have not taken much time to play this year, at all. I miss knitting (though I made socks! Three of them!) and that’s one area I’d like to get back into.

8. Algiz and Sowilo: How do I ward myself? What insights have come to me?

One thing I’ve struggled to do this year has been releasing expectations of others in my life. I build things up in my mind — the stories I tell myself about how people are — and 1) that often comes back to kick me in the arse, in a bad way but (and more importantly) 2) it isn’t fair to anyone. Let people be as they are, expect little, and you’ll be disappointed less. I’m all about having expectations of and from myself, and I’m learning to leave everyone else to their own expectations.

9. Tiwaz and Berkano: What victories have I achieved? What in me has died this year? What has been born?

This, too, goes back to abundance. What victories? Hey, I made it out of surgery alive. (Yeah, minor surgery, but this was the first time I’d been put under, and, yeah, I was scared). So much writing (have I mentioned writing yet?). Poseidon: A Narrative is in rough draft stages, but it’s out of me and onto the page. Igraine’s Flight is one step closer to being released for mass consumption. The Story Subscription project is my biggest, most happiest, proudest-making thing to have brought into the world, and I know I keep harping on that, but you guys, you guys, you guys! My own darn writing has become a part time job for me. It still does not seem quite real.

I’ve laid to rest a number of stories I tell myself about myself that are no longer or have never been true. It’s been good.

10. Ehwaz and Mannaz: What has been confirmed for me this year? How do I relate to my community?

Confirmed: writing is my calling. It’s my passion. It’s what I need to do and it’s what excites me the most. It’s how I pray, it’s how I worship, and adding Poseidon to my writing practice has been absolutely wonderful. Writing a novel with His input did more to draw u/Us closer/to open me more to Him, than anything else I’ve ever done, short of being at the coast.

Speaking of community: this year has confirmed for me that I’m really more comfortable in small groups, when I venture into groups at all, but that really, I’m a homebody. Even when online. It’s always an interesting conundrum, because I find value in interacting with others, and I like to be mentally stimulated, and I like spiritual and religious discourse, and I want to talk about my own path and have people read and comment and share. I can’t say i’m exactly anti-social, and I do feel compelled to write about Poseidon, about what my living with Poseidon looks like, etc. But I also go through cycles of chattiness and retreat, and that’s just gotta be okay. I’m also nicely settled on a tribalist-in-practice but universalist-in-my-ideals space. Which I knew, but this year has brought that home again.

11. Laguz and Inguz: How do I work with my dreams? What seeds have I planted, and what have I sacrificed to nourish them?

This, I think, will be play nicely into my next post: plans for 2015.

12. Dagaz and Othala: What doors have opened for me? What doors have closed? Where is my true home?

Writing. Not writing. Poseidon, in that order. 🙂