Ever since Poseidon was all, “Hey, about Vishnu,” I feel as though I was a victim of some great “Look over there–*shove*!” sort of experience. I’ve sat with that information and poked at the “I am Poseidon” curiosity until the poking doesn’t bother me (He is whomever He is, and I love Him). But since then?
I’m writing a fictional accounting of some of His stories. In close POV even if I don’t keep it all in first person. It’s an intimate retelling of some of His myths — some of the popular and well known, and some that are maybe newer, or newly expanded. It’s sweet, in my not so humble opinion, and it’s fiction, but it’s totally mythic fiction for me. It has the effect of Him having sat down and talking to me about His past, about some things that may have shaped Him. It’s certainly Him speaking in a language I can understand — the only stories that are useful are the ones that speak to you. I am not pretending that they are gospel . . . but I’m also not pretending that they don’t matter to me, because they do.
It has been difficult to work o this — and so very rewarding, at the same time. But I’m also laughing at His cleverness, for He so knows how to work me, does Poseidon. Nothing like the threat of immersing myself in a new-to-me cultural past for study to help me realize ancient Hellas wasn’t so bad. Nothing like introducing completely new to me terms and concepts to make me admit that this whole “it’s foreign, I’m more at home in Northern European culture/understanding” isn’t quite accurate anymore. (I feel quite at home in both, apparently.) Nothing like knocking me slightly off kilter to make me more pliable. “Write this thing. Study these things. Make this other thing and use it. Do these other things that make you so very uncomfortable and challenges your anxiety and your trust in Me, and do it all without asking for signs and reassurances. Do it all trusting only in Me. Also, call Me King. A lot.”
I am. All of these things. And, heh, I wrote — what, ten days ago? — asking for Him to challenge me, to help me trust Him, to help me realize that He is my safety and my security . . .
So overwhelmed. So over-awed. So going forward, because . .. well, what else is one to do?
And, He is so generous, so good, because reassurance and signs come in anyway. Little things to soothe a worried soul.