Podcasts, sitting with things, and new voice-crushes


I’m still, still all “But are you Vishnu? Why did You say Poseidon, way back then? You could have named any name at all, and if they don’t matter . . . . ”

He tells me that I’ve slipped too far, in this, into my story teller brain, that I’m trying for chronology and transparency where there is only magic and mystery. So, I’m setting that aside, that need to explain, even to myself. I don’t think it’s going to get any clearer than the yesno that I get with Neptune, and I’ve lived with that for forever, and so what’s one more? My mind does fun things. “Are you an avatar of Vishnu? Are You, like, the burned out on humanity, angry, needing a vacation among the Agean avatar? Is Poseidon more of an action, more of a doing and less of a being? When You are still and simply being, are You more all of these pieces of You and less this one specific piece? Are You this particular bit of magic of Vishnu that is out in the world? Or is He more like Your great grandfather, or a tribal patriarch, or, or, or any of these other human-concepts that I can use to make sense of this?”

Through it all, He just sits, wrapping me in His embrace, keeping me firmly held in that space of o/Our . . . sanctuary? Home? Heart? Where w/We are rooted together in o/Our existence. He watches, and beyond His admonition to “Sit with this,” He does not give any answers. Other than, “Stop trying to tell this story. Just be with this.”

Still, I’m excited about the imagery that I can incorporate into my worship now that I’ve discovered Matsya (or Fishnu, as Beth likes to call him) and Narasingha, those two being the emanations of Vishnu that speak the closest to my experiences with Poseidon. Because much of the depiction of Matsya reminds me of the colossal statue I dreamed of, and Narasingha makes me giddy about lion connections.


My dear friend Silence linked me to some podcasts, satsangs released from Kali Mandir, and the speaker . . . I have a voice crush. So, I had one, previously, on Noumen Ali Khan, who is a Muslim speaker. You can google him and find his lectures. I’ve linked to some previously. There’s one in particular about judging and encouragement and standards, and how not everything is the same for everyone, so holding everyone up to one particular standard (in the talk he spoke specifically of charity, of donating one’s wealth to follow Mohammad — it was an example from their scripture) could be uplifting and motivating for some, but demoralizing for others, and that it was better to not demoralize people, but rather to encourage them. It was a good lecture, and he is engaging, and funny, and I have a voice-crush on him. I enjoy listening to him as much for his voice and his accent as I do for his content. (I don’t restrict myself to pagan lecturers — I find reminding myself that we have much in common with all minority religions, and that much of the issues we struggle with come up in all religions, and it allows me to be compassionate towards myself and others.)

The speaker in these podcasts Silence alerted me to has a very similar voice, and speaking style, and the subject matter is one that I’m happier listening to — because yay polytheists, or sort-of!

Anyway, they are interesting! I’ve only listened to one so far (this one on the devas prayer to Lord Narasingha) but I do quite enjoy the voice. Yay for voice-crushes.


5 Comments Add yours

  1. Alex says:

    When I was wrestling with the conceptions of the Mister’s identities, there were two main questions I was ordered to consider–what did it matter, in terms of what He is called by others, and what did it change?

    The answers I came up with were it didn’t and nothing because names are just names. He didn’t want me to honor Him in any of the ways that His other name entailed and the one of the reasons He allowed me to be aware of that other name is that it has allowed me to know more of Him, in that I could examine that shard of Him and fit it into how I know Him on our relationship.

    If He was to tell you that He is or was Vishnu, what would it change? Would you abandon how you know Him or what you do for Him? Does it change how you love Him?

    1. naiadis says:

      I worry on the one hand that my fretting and picking at things isn’t “sitting with it”. On the other hand — picking at things is how I figure out where I am/how I feel/how i’m going to go forward, and that’s always been so, and since, as He stresses, we have not just met one another, He and I, I have to assume that that’s okay.

      Names *are* just names; I can’t discount His introduction to the idea that they may be more fluid than we treat them. The ways I honor Him, the offerings He gets from me and how they are presented isn’t rooted in anything more than o/Our preferences — sometimes it’s fancier and couched in a particular tradition, but often it’s simple and straight forward and without much flare or fanfare because that’s how w/We are with one another.

      Really, the only thing it would change would be the ease with which I accepted “names do not matter.” It would introduce some small hardship about why He insisted “Poseidon” when any name would have done — except, that’s also not true, because with the yesnobutalittlebit that’s coming my way with this, He’s given pretty straight forward answers about why Poseidon, exactly. (And still, “I *am* Poseidon” but there’s a lot of yesnobutalittlebit going on.)

      I’ve written my hands clear off today, and I need to go ice them for a bit. I would like to contact you via email if you’re still open to that, though it’ll be some days off yet still, possibly not for another week or more. I wasn’t able to find contact information for you via your blog; if you’re game, please let me know where I could send it. And thank you, in any event, for your time and your words this week. It’s helped.

      1. Alex says:

        I’m more than happy to chat via email whenever. You can reach me at alex dot bettencourt at gmail dot com.

  2. Soli says:

    I hate that period of new big information dump and having to sort it all out. Hate it! So sending you my sympathy and hopes for some clarity. 🙂

  3. Silence says:

    He does have an excellent voice, doesn’t he? I enjoy that podcast so much. Someday I’ll make it out to the Kali Mandir; it’s just down in the LA area and I’ve wanted to visit for ages. (Argh, I’m so behind on blog responses.)

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