Moments like these, it’s easier to breathe and I can honestly say, I’m humbled and grateful for the progress I’ve made at getting through some of the harder moments more quickly than I would have done, say, five, ten, fifteen years ago. I don’t handle surprise well — good surprises, bad surprises, it doesn’t matter. But should how I handle situations He brings up ultimately matter in what I do with the information? Of course not. Over the years, Poseidon has taught me how to sit with things. “Don’t do, just be with this,” and this ability has come in handy this week, as the next small thing and the next small thing has reared up and asserted their connections with this “I am, and yet I am not.” I may talk about those in more depth at some point (like, when there are words to use) but right now, I am awash in Love.
He has done more, my Lord, my God, my Glorious Poseidon, to remind me of o/Our foundation, of o/Our roots together, with this utterance of “Just sit with this,” than any amount of willful setting aside of Hellenic influence I could have done would have managed. He has done more to bring me back into awareness of Him, rather than of His history in that land, than I would have managed on my own.
I’ve wrapped myself in prayers and in love. I’ve wrapped myself in the tools He has bestowed upon me. I feel less cluttered, more focused, more rooted. He is only doing as I ask of Him — to share more and more of who He is with me, to bring me further and further into His mysteries. How can I be upset with that? I’m not. I wish . . . . I wish that my reaction wasn’t that way, but it is, and it’s going to continue to be so. So, I need to remember that, and hold it, sit with it as He says, and let it flow through me.
We have songs, He and I. I have songs that I sing to Him, and then we have pop songs. I’m not ashamed to admit it. Crash and Burn by Savage Garden was our first. Ever the Same by Rob Thomas is up there, too. I looped them, and listened to them, and cried, and basked in His presence upon my life. Hail, hail Poseidon, my most Beloved.
Love. Just . . . Love.