Because that’s always fun! Today I’m shaky and fragile-feeling. The idea of leaving the house is terrifying, and happily, I don’t have to do it. I’ve got some plans for working on fiction, but that almost feels like too much motion, so I may sit, and be still, and not move, and be well.
Yesterday was a great reminder that I need not be doing anything, in order to have worth and value to those who love me. I was up early with the pain, and once I was able to lay back down again with making the pain worse, I tucked myself back to bed with a cold compress, a dark room, two wonderful cats, and the dog. A Lady came to check upon me once or twice, and Her Ladyship even used soft, gentle, dulcet tones when inquiring upon my health. My boys stayed with me. The dog was beside himself, getting to go back to bed. A cold compress upon the head, warm bodies nested around me, and nothing to do but be still, breath through the pain, and just be.
They don’t happen as often as they used to; I’m grateful for that. I’m grateful for the days when I need not work through them. I’m grateful for Beth. And, I’m grateful for the perspective.
Last week, I built myself into a frenzy. All the things that I keep not working on. Writing? Ha! A few submission deadlines have already passed me by (never mind that I’ve agreed with myself that this year is Not. About. Submitting), I didn’t not come *near* my writing goals last Monday, and I’ve apparently turned my “I have the freedom to write to my heart’s content on Monday” into a weapon. Because if I don’t write X amount of words, clearly I am a hack. Obviously.
I’m reminded to slow down. I’m reminded to focus on what truly matters.I’m reminded that I’m releasing guilt this year. I’m reminded that it’s not so bad. I’m reminded that if I’m a tizzy of motion, of go-go-GO, I’m generally miserable. I’m reminded to breathe.
I could be astounded at how easy it is to keep forgetting this stuff, but really, it just is. And I’m grateful for the reminders. I’m grateful for my family, for my gods, for Beth.
And I’m grateful to be in migraine recovery, rather than in migraine-coping.