Or two, depending on how you’re counting. I wish I did not have the ability to turn things off without actually waking up — I missed the actual running time by about an hour. The going to bed for the first time process was extremely emotionally difficult, however — it is rare when I am granted the chance to witness my God carrying His burdens; He tends to keep the darker, deeper bits of His emotions from me, possibly because I already struggle so much with my own. But there are days when I experience a spiritual equivalent of Him laying in my arms and seeking solace, and though the words that I could use to share that do it little justice, I need to record, for my own memory, that last night was such a night. There are touches of Holy Terror that come with experiencing such a state — what do we do, what can we do, when our Beloved Gods are mourning? Well, we can hold that, too. We can witness that. We are challenged to be with Them with that, as much as we can, and not turn aside in our fear and in our awe. What a beautiful, wonderful thing.
I woke up with a start shortly before 1am, and commenced with the vigil, and while I wish I had gotten up in time, I’m not beating myself up over it. What good does that do? I’ll endeavor to keep my alarm further away from me, so that I have to move more to turn it off, and thus hopefully wake up more in the process.
I (re)discovered two essays yesterday, that are thematic for this week for me, and so I’m sharing them. Yes, when I consider this observance, I think primarily of Poseidon (obviously) but not solely Poseidon. In honor of mindfulness of the others who might come to mind, I share with you:
AJ Brokaw’s post on gods and bulls from her blog over at Witches and Pagans. (I, ah. Didn’t realize the Indra connection with bulls until I read this, which, okay, you know? I don’t really have, usually, a lot to do with bulls specifically, nor with Indra, except recently He has been on my radar, which is why, even today, I’m a bit ashamed I didn’t consider Him in light of this festival. The host of gods to be honored next Saturday and Sunday is growing)
And then there’s Lykia’s Playing With Bulls over on her blog, Beloved In Light which fittingly enough from her, is largely about Apollon and bulls. I always look forward to reading her thoughts and findings, so this was a nice treat. And, Poseidon does get mentioned, so yay!