2013 is upon us. I’ve gone back and forth with whether or not to participate in the Pagan Blog Project this year, and ultimately, I still haven’t decided. On the one hand, I’ve enjoyed the thematically inspired posts that I did write last year, until I completely stopped. On the other hand, I’ve got a writing project underway, and I don’t necessarily want to take steam away from that. I got a ton of writing done in the first few weeks of January, and I’ve slowed down since then, and I’m not happy with that, and so I’m hesitant to switch to something else. At the same time, the desire is there. Really, I want to be writing most of the time. I don’t have a lot of other things that I do, besides the things that I thoroughly enjoy: reading, writing, knitting, devotional stuff, snuggle cats and dog, so it’s difficult to find the time to take away from these other things to focus more on writing. And the job doesn’t pay me if I don’t go in, so there’s forty hours taken away, alas.
The current writing project was supposed to be the sequel collection of stories to The Fairy Queen of Spencer’s Butte and Other Tales but, at this point, it may be its very own novella/novel. I don’t know. I’m not doing word counts, I’m not deciding it has to be anything other than progressing forward. I tried, last year, to organize my writing in such a way that it, instead, made my writing dry up entirely. I can blame some of that on family deaths, of course, and I do. But, introducing discipline into my writing life did not work. At all. I wrote a LOT for the first four months, and the mostly nothing. So . . . not doing that again this year. If it doesn’t stay fun, I’m less likely to want to do it, and since I’m not making a huge goal of getting published and making it into my career (why not? Honestly, I’m not sure other than I don’t want that sort of pressure on it. Does this mean that I’m simply unwilling to take the risk? Possibly, but that’s okay. Do I think it’s good enough? Yes! So what’s my problem? Pressure. Pressure is bad) doing it the way it works is good enough.
Been reading a decent amount of non-fiction, too, so I want to mention those here and not at the writing blog. Most recently I read through Seeking the Mystery: An Introduction to Pagan Theologies, which was quite good. Honestly, a book of this type has been needed for a long time, and I’m glad it’s out there. It seems as though there is, finally, an influx of pagans writing about philosophy and theology from standpoints that are 1) more complex than an “we are not X”, moving beyond defining ourselves by what we are not and more by what we are, which is awesome; and 2)treating ourselves seriously. We have as much to give the world as other more established traditions do, and we seem to be notorious for not taking ourselves seriously. I think the author did a great job with this book.
For story time, we’re reading through A Year of Biblical Womanhood by Rachel Held Evans, whose writing is delightful, humorous, honest, and touching. I am struck, while reading this, all over again how much I feel like not-an-adult, and I’m not sure if that’s going to ever change, which is silly. Rachel is a few years younger than I am, and she reads like an adult, an actual person who has reasons for how she thinks and feels and all that. This is part of how I don’t take myself seriously as a person, and I mostly ignore it/pretend that I do, and that works, but I want that layer of self-image to change so that I simply *do* take myself seriously as an adult person, not as someone playing dress-up. And I’ve digressed.
Rachel’s book — and her blog — has been an awesome discovery, especially as more and more of the ancestors Beth and I are involved in come in with Christian and Jewish backgrounds. Yes, we’re polytheists, and we’re not especially exclusionists, and as long as everyone is respectful and civil, we’ve got no problem. Becoming exposed to living Christians who can be respectful and civil and who ultimately come from a place of compassion and love has helped immensely, both in my ancestor veneration and also in fostering continuing compassion for the living humans. Compassion is *hard*. I keep waiting for it to get easy, and it just doesn’t.
I am embracing writing as a spiritual path, and the main path of my devotional life. I keep coming back to that, so this is mostly a reminder for me.
Also, knitting is awesome.
That is all.